I wonder...

...if you already have received my message. I felt it on Friday that you did. I thought I would write here more frequently... but my new duties at work kill me and then when I get home my little devils kill me again and again and around midnight or earlier I feel so sleepy that I just go to bed...
I started imagine "what if" and how great it would be... ech...
I can't wait the message from you. Then I will know everything is fine. I miss you so much but in some way I got used to this situation and try to be patient as much as possible. But there are days when I feel so upset, so sad and lonely. I remember when you told me one day that I am really cruel and you have to at leat once make me really upset. You don't need to anymore. Whole this situation has already did it instead of you... I'm just worried - it's been a month since we last time talked, you could forget about me...
LOVE U :************************************************************************

Today...

...I called J.Å. :) or actually he called me... that's a longer story.
I was wondering why you gave me his name and phone number and instructed me later not to contact him. Ofkors I started thinking that there is some hidden message in this instruction. If I have any chance to contact you in some way, I will use it. So I did. He told me some really good news that there is a chance for something positive and he will do everything he could to save you :)
Hope you are fine there and will smile when hear the message from me :* I love you darling and miss you!!!

Exhausted...

...that's how I feel. I visited today swedish embassy in KRK = IKJEA :D haha, bought the most often sold cars in Sweden and Marabou Mjölkchoklad ofkors too :)
Then I was trying to get some trousers but I couldn't find the perfect ones...
Then I got known that ex didn't feed kids at all while they spent whole day together... and finally I got known that he was spending this day alsowith some new bitch. So no more kids to ex while she is with him... And I don't care he has somebody but I don't allow him to show her to kids.
Anyway now I even more miss you, darling... Visiting IKEA is only the trial to feel a little bit of Sweden's atmospere... and you :*) Oh I really can't wait the first message from you. Puss puss

Everything...

...reminds me of you... Planes in the sky make me want to fly to you. I close my eyes and want to turn back the time and keep it hold for December flight to STHLM :)I wish we stayed in RB forever watching Borat. Why are there so many f*****g planes now in the sky?

Just...

...Can't wait the first message from you. I know it takes time until all is done but it sucks living uncounscious... MISS YOU... Can't wait to see you again. I've never known I'd ever wait to go to such place hahaha :)

The longer...

...you are there, the more I miss you. The more I miss you, the stronger my feeling of love for you is...
Every night I wonder how your day looks like, how do you feel, how the mission is going on, when do I get any news from you, if you still want me, do you feel lonely there, when we see each other again... You know - like million questions on my mind... I just really can't wait the first message from you LOVE YOU DARLING!

So another...

...Friday behind us...your third Friday on the mission, almost 3 weeks without hearing your voice on my phone :( and almost 8th months since we talked for the very first time on CB :D I want you to know that all these things that actually are happening now and the real reason why you went on your mission DON'T change anything at least on my side :) I'll be always love YOU <3

Today...

...I've taken KäteNö6 to watch Limitless - the movie I wanted to see with you actually... It seems I had the chance to have only one real date in cinema and ofkors I fell asleep then :(
So here it starts again - watching movies with girls, gays, kids but not with the person I wish. That sucks, you know.
But talking about Limitless... I think you should see it :)

You know what...

...I can see when I close my eyes? Our first meeting  - some images step by step... Eating out, you trying to iron your shirt but then giving up this idea... our very, very first meeting meeting - in front of RB Hotel... jeez when I saw you then I thought omg he is SO HOT... he wouldn't like me, he would send me straight away back home to the airport :D And you hugged me then, and you smelled me and I tried to kiss you but you continued walking so it was kind of impossible to get to your lips too closely... And actually things happened then so quickly and we went to Mississippi and while sitting in front of you there I wanted this moment to last forever :) And later in the night while watching Borat... yes I can still feel your touch on my back and all details of your later invasion :D Next day sightseeing of this lovely city in this damn cold weather - I promissed then myself then we really will be sightseeing my city wearing short sleeves tops... maybe we will on some day... maybe we will :)

I thought...

...it would be more difficult. No tears, no cry, maybe just once a felt really sad. You have probably taught me to be strong and kinda of ruthless. My mom says me sometimes - it is not my Kate I rose... Well ppl are changing all the time. But generally as soon as I get the first message from you I will feel unsecure about this situation...:)

Oh you need to know something - be proud - I've watched TRON with Dominik - we made Saturday TRON Night.
And it seems that I missed like 98% of the movie  sleeping on your arm instead ,)                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  

nothing fails...

"I'm in love with you, you silly thing
Anyone can see
What is it with you, you silly thing
Just take it from me
It was not a chance meeting
Feel my heart beating
You're the one..."

So tonight...

...they gonna show you again. I've seen the pict and you looked so nice. Hope you won't loose too much weight during the mission. I love your body the way it looks like. If it were possible I'd go to IKEA, buy your favourite BILAR candies and Marabou Mjolk Choklad as well and send them to you so as you will keep your body as perfect as it is :*) MISS YOU!!! <3

You have no idea

how much I miss you... :*) And when I am worried about you I even don't feel like playing monopoly nor any other fun things.

BBM

I really miss the times when my red diode was letting me know you someone BBM me. Would be fine to have this power to stop the world in a particular moment and just enjoy the special time :)
So how are you so far since Friday? I wonder how your things are going on :)

I was wondering...

...how it will be, how I will feel. It is actually like an alcoholic not drinking for few days... No but you taught me to be patient, not to react too emotionally in some situations and it really helped me. Maybe it is not that difficult for me as I've got used to this situation since February in some way: So I stopped panic but well, I am still worried about you. I can imagine you are not sleeping at this moment as you are not used to go to sleep so early... But how do you funcion out there without internet? Jeez that must be difficult!
I hope everything will be just fine and your mission will last not longer than you except. It is not that easy to be a female of a soldier who decides to serve for his country... but well, I think you have made the right choice.
And it is f...ing difficult not to be allowed to tell the truth anyone :( At least here is my place that helps me not to go crazy now.
Btw I'm a blondie but not that stupid as definition says about blondies...
I've seen this great TV show where some guys wear white shirts and silver ties... One of them looked really fine and it was so nice to listen to his voice but I understood like 5 words of all that he was talking - maybe it is better that I can't understand it but that made me actually upset as I realized that I will never learn this language with strange pronouncation :(:(:(

Somehow...

...the first weekend without any news from you has gone quite quickly. I organized this postponed Lola's party and even survived it :)
I was thinking generally how it would be when you start your mission. What should I do then? I'm not going to look for any new friends - I'm fed up... I will probably watch all my movies and tv series I wanted to see plus TRON with Dominik :)
Jeez, Darling, I really miss you!

So 3 days after...

...your last message I decide to create this blog. I've never been a fan of blogs but I really need some place for myself which replaces me in some way this empty space you left me... I've improved my english thanks to you so I don't want it to be wasted... I hope you will read this all one day - when you come back from your mission... It is just the beginning and I'm already miss you :*)