I wonder...

...if you already have received my message. I felt it on Friday that you did. I thought I would write here more frequently... but my new duties at work kill me and then when I get home my little devils kill me again and again and around midnight or earlier I feel so sleepy that I just go to bed...
I started imagine "what if" and how great it would be... ech...
I can't wait the message from you. Then I will know everything is fine. I miss you so much but in some way I got used to this situation and try to be patient as much as possible. But there are days when I feel so upset, so sad and lonely. I remember when you told me one day that I am really cruel and you have to at leat once make me really upset. You don't need to anymore. Whole this situation has already did it instead of you... I'm just worried - it's been a month since we last time talked, you could forget about me...
LOVE U :************************************************************************

Today...

...I called J.Å. :) or actually he called me... that's a longer story.
I was wondering why you gave me his name and phone number and instructed me later not to contact him. Ofkors I started thinking that there is some hidden message in this instruction. If I have any chance to contact you in some way, I will use it. So I did. He told me some really good news that there is a chance for something positive and he will do everything he could to save you :)
Hope you are fine there and will smile when hear the message from me :* I love you darling and miss you!!!